Believe in yourself
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings. Always believe in yourself.
As infants, we begin our lives believing in our own capabilities. Babies show this when they learn to make their first movements. This ability of self-belief is displayed when a baby is learning to walk. First, you see them sit, take a crawl position, before pushing themselves up on their feet. The first times they try this, it usually doesn’t go so well, and it ends with them falling not too gently, back on their buttocks. But this fall never deters them, because there is a determination to walk and with inborn confidence in themselves, they know if they keep trying, they would master it finally.
If little babies did not trust in themselves when learning to walk they would never get back up on their feet after a fall. Our first cognitive movements show help to show that belief in oneself plus the effort to try over and over will result in being successful in any venture we put ourselves to.
The first years of our lives are spent being adventurous and ready to take on any task. At that time, if someone said, it wasn’t possible to do something, you would scoff and attempt to do it anyway. Till it indeed turns out that they were right and you were not physically built to fly like a bird or an airplane.
There was a time, we didn’t know what failure meant, because we believed we were invincible and could achieve anything as long as we tried. But over time we start growing up, and maturity begins setting in. What is this maturity, and how does this maturity come about? It comes about by learning from other peoples experiences and internalizing them as ours. It comes about from listening to others give us reasons why they think we do not have what it takes to succeed. It comes about from our own previous failures, and a decision not to try anymore, or to simply take the safe route.
The thing about the safe route is that it only leads to safe rewards. Nothing extraordinary will likely come out of it. Imagine if babies decided they’d had enough of falling on their butts and were never going to attempt walking anymore. What would happen? We would have perfectly healthy children, equipped with normal legs but unable to use them. This is precisely what many of us are right now. We are perfectly healthy adults, equipped with so much value and potential which is lying dormant within ourselves. The fact is, if you don’t use your potential, it will keep lying dormant within you.
The truth is that the way other people see us isn’t about us—it’s about them and their own struggles, insecurities, and limitations. You don’t have to allow their judgment to become your truth -Daniell Koepke.
Self-doubt has ended many endeavors before they even started. Many of us believe the whispers of self-doubt which have taken route in our minds. How do these ideas come about? These ideas subtly form in our minds without us being conscious of them. We get them by listening, looking, and learning from others. For some reason, we start to believe they must know better than we do, as they seem to be more experienced in life. We hear people talk about their experiences and give us their opinions about us, and we internalize all this.
Gradually, the mindset of that little kid who believed he could take on the world slowly disappears; the mindset that only knows himself and his own abilities. Now here is a person who depends on the experiences of others and their validations of himself to be true. This transfers into one’s subconscious, and has an effect on one’s confidence and self-esteem, making one unable to believe in oneself.
When people talk to you about their experiences, they hope to make you become better but little do they know that their negative experiences, and making comparisons between you with others actually create more harm to your mindset than good. Parents especially, enjoy making these comparisons. All parents want is what is best for their children, but either knowingly or unknowingly they have the habit of comparing our actions to those of our peers. Sometimes we feel good about it, especially when it is in our favor but most times, it is an attack on our self-confidence.
I once had a friend who asked me to stop coming to his house with my notebook. This was because my handwriting was better than his and his parents were on his case about it, asking why he couldn’t write as I did. So instead of going to his place, he decided he would come over to mine to take notes.
Surely, people don’t mean to discourage their loved ones, or knock the enthusiasm and drive out of them. They are only saying what they think is true according to their own experiences, and they are entitled to their opinion. The mistake you make is in believing their views relate to you, which they certainly do not.
Many of us have been in a situation or a classroom where you were asked who you thought would be the most successful person in the room?
On hearing this question, you most likely turned to the person who got the highest grades or who was the best player in any sport. At the time it seemed like a no-brainer that this person would turn out to be the most successful because of their apparently exceptional capabilities.
However, while you were pointing at someone else, you ignored someone at that time who was also just as capable and fully equipped with all they needed to be successful. This person was yourself, my dear friend; it was you. You ignored yourself because you never had that confidence to believe in yourself.
Many of us responded in this same way, including myself, but I urge you right now to get rid of the self-doubt within you and believe in yourself. I want you to bet on yourself because you are the best at whatever you will choose to do.
You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens – Louise L. Hay
You are a unique individual with a unique mind, unique thought processes, and exceptional abilities. Never sell yourself short because the failures of others are not your failures. Like a baby who is learning to stand up and walk, I charge you to the ignore outside voices and concentrate on making an effort to succeed. The truth is we might fall at some point, but when you bet on yourself, you will get up and keep trying, until you break through. Bet on yourself from this day forward, and you can be sure you will achieve your dreams.
Don’t be slave of others opinion
